Atlanta Unitarian

Some of the challenges I have faced during the last few weeks have made it clear to me that I carry within me a wounded soul.  A wounded soul is a soul that has been disappointed in some fundamental existential way, so that an implicit trust in the universe is no longer possible.  It is not necessarily a paranoia, but a sense of profound disappointment that could re-occur again at any time.  In many ways it is the opposite of naiveté, the confidence that the universe is a safe place and that things are fairly certain to work out. Feeling this wounded soul moving within myself can be disturbing.  The darkness within me is very easily and quickly cast out on others – they can become characters in my own personal morality play, signifying the disappointments I have encountered.  If I have not received the praise which is my due, I cast darkness upon those whose efforts are lacksidaisical, angry that they have not worked as hard as I have.  If I see others...

For the past 16 days, I have been the parent in charge at home, every day, all day long, with my two elementary age boys.  We did not go on any vacation, having spent our vacation budget on a trip to Atlanta over November.  We were, in a word, stuck at home.  Stuck.  At.  Home. We did, however, engage in a wide range of activities, both at home and away.  Indoor play spaces, building ginger bread houses, bowling, numerous games of strategy and chance, books, lots of movies.  At the beginning of the holiday I drew up a list of activities for us to do and solicited further suggestions from the boys.  Aside from these excursions, with the cold weather, we were mostly confined inside.  We were lucky enough to score warm-enough weather for two walks. Nonetheless, we were all faced with a substantial amount of boredom and the frustration that comes with boredom.  Being stuck at home, and maybe not being so good at building a nearby social ...

In adolescence in particular there is a strong need to call out those things that are fake, those niceties required by society but performed without any sincerity. This impulse, the impulse to say no to the half-truths of the world, is, I think, a deep spiritual impulse, one that never entirely goes away as one gets older. Perhaps as we grow older we learn the instrumental value of little white lies, of picking our battles. But in some sense we want the freedom to yell out "No!", to set aside the expectations of others and the roles we have assumed and shout out the contrary, more direct and more honest truth we harbor within.  I think we all have a hunger for unrefined truths, especially when they have been long suppressed. The truths of the soul are quiet and difficult to obtain. This early form of resistance is the potential beginning of something much more significant, the capacity for deep listening to the callings of one's true self. When we are adults, teachers...

One of my areas of greatest discomfort with Christian theology has been the concept of original sin.  To say that human nature is inherently inclined towards the evil seemed to me unfair and inaccurate.  Also, the score keeping seemed unfair as well:  If you do something wrong, you get the blame, but if you do something right, only God gets the credit.  You own your own flaws but not your own virtues. Now I say all of this as a strict amateur, someone who has never studied Christian theology seriously, so please take it with a grain of salt.  This is less an accurate portrayal of Christian theology than an outline of my own theological thinking. For a long time I think I subscribed to an essentially optimistic view of human nature - that people are born essentially good, and if they gravitate towards bad behavior later in life it is because they were not provided the necessary nurturing and guidance in their childhood.  I think this is a view fairly com...

Spiritual Journeys – Some Definitions Back when I was at the University of Georgia, before I had arrived at any particular set of religious beliefs, I had a roommate named James who was spiritual in the most cliché sense of the word.  He lit a lot of incense and candles and owned lots of crystals and pictures of the moon.  I basically thought of James’ view of the world as silly but mostly harmless. James also had a girlfriend whose belief system ran along similar lines.  However there was one particular practice that this girlfriend engaged in that bothered me.  Whenever things went wrong, whenever she was disappointed, she would repeat this mantra to herself, “Everything is perfect, everything is perfect.”   I think I loosely understand the underlying philosophy behind the mantra – that the plans of the universe are too complex for us to fathom as individuals.  But it was apparent to me that the mantra was in fact terribly destructive for this ...

The great thing about being a UU is the freedom; the horrible thing about being a UU is the freedom. Unitarian Universalism has developed satisfactory answers for certain ills. The moral and intellectual oppressiveness of hidebound religious dogma. The need for a continually renewing spiritual awareness and spiritual understanding. The importance of radical inclusiveness and human-centered values. A balance between the life of the intellect and the spirit. And yet I find in the area of religious practice it is lacking in depth and structure. I do not feel a lack of theological grounding, but I do find a void on guidance for how to be a "practicing" UU. Perhaps my keen awareness of this fact comes from my own Jewish background. In Judiasm, there is a prayer for every situation; a holiday for every season; a rich palette of rituals and practices interwoven with meaning. The grounding in literature, community, and spiritual practice is manifold and deep. In Unitarian Univ...

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from my 7-Month-Old Son (Almost) If you can eat, drink, pee, and poo without incident, you have much cause for satisfaction. The best way to get our needs met is to articulate them clearly, repeatedly, and, if necessary, with volume. It's in our nature to learn, grow, and try new things, with our own interest as our best guide. The best way to learn something is to take an iterative approach rather than a linear one; learning by nature is two steps forward, one harsh bump on the tush. If you're paying attention, the world is a pretty fascinating place. Shadows are particularly interesting because you can't pick them up. The foundation of happiness is being with people who love you for who you are. Can't wait for the next 7 months...!

Self esteem cannot be created through praise. It cannot be created through achievement, awards, and success. Self esteem can only be grown from within. Like a seed that grows into a flower, self esteem cannot be forced into bloom. The right conditions can be cultivated, but a flower must grow and bloom of its own accord. What are some of the conditions that can help to grow self esteem? Acknowledging and meeting the needs of a person, facilitating their development and capacity, and reflecting back to them their own unique identity and personality. Everyone has the light within them, and when we reflect back their light, we help them see it more clearly. This is the greatest challenge in helping another - not to make them into your idea of good or shape them into your ideal, but rather to help them to cultivate their own voice and come into their own understanding of the true and the good. And ultimately, you must give them the space to bloom of their own accord. The growth and f...

One of my life-long struggles is finding appropriate and meaningful channels for my desire to serve. I feel passion in my heart, I envision various and wonderful possibilities in my head, but when my hands get to the work of service, I find myself stymied, bored, frustrated, and unsatisfied. One of the problems is that the reach of my mind (same as any educated person's mind) is so much greater than my capacity to influence. I see the importance of addressing global warming, but I feel powerless to make a difference. I've reduced my carbon footprint and signed various petitions online, watched "Inconvenient Truth," followed the issue in the news. But what more can I do, as one individual with no particular power or influence? There are so many issues I care about so deeply. I feel so helpless to make a difference. What I do almost always feels like a drop in the bucket. Just off the top of my head, I am concerned about torture and human rights, ending the Iraq w...

Recently I came across someone, I think a politician, discussing that the moral imperative to love the stranger is common to all religions, and it got me thinking. As a UU, I believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. This is not simply a political statement; it is also a religious statement of faith. Within every person is inherent value, which means, that every person brings some merit or value to this planet and the human community. Ideally as a person of faith I would be able to see that value in each person, to be able to find common ground and common humanity with any person, no matter how different from myself. I find myself falling pretty short on this measuring stick. Recently I have had occasion to have several long term visitors to my home. I have found that, when placed in close proximity to a stranger, I tend to focus on what I object to in others, to think about how I would like them to be, to see them as a negative reflection of my own points of prid...

Inspired Thich Nhat Hanh' s ideas on inter-being, I have developed a related idea of non-duality. The main concept is to see others as essentially similar to yourself, especially when you have the impulse to distance yourself from them. It's an interesting but difficult practice for me. A number of times each day, I see someone who I pronounce a judgement on in the quiet of my own mind. I decide that they are mean, or selflish, or stupid, or inconsiderate. This is almost a relfex action. It comes from my very well developed sense of wrong and right, which others are continually violating. When someone else violates my sense of right, I judge them, I feel disappointed from them, and then become estranged from them. I decide that it's better if I avoid them. The principal of non-duality says to me that the flaw which I see in them is also somehow in me, if only in a small and hidden way. Even if I do not agree with what they do, I can see the human feeling or impulse...