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Showing posts from 2016

The Wounded Soul

Some of the challenges I have faced during the last few weeks have made it clear to me that I carry within me a wounded soul.  A wounded soul is a soul that has been disappointed in some fundamental existential way, so that an implicit trust in the universe is no longer possible.  It is not necessarily a paranoia, but a sense of profound disappointment that could re-occur again at any time.  In many ways it is the opposite of naiveté, the confidence that the universe is a safe place and that things are fairly certain to work out. Feeling this wounded soul moving within myself can be disturbing.  The darkness within me is very easily and quickly cast out on others – they can become characters in my own personal morality play, signifying the disappointments I have encountered.  If I have not received the praise which is my due, I cast darkness upon those whose efforts are lacksidaisical, angry that they have not worked as hard as I have.  If I see others flourish and succeed with ap

The Spirit of Life

I think my personal turn towards a more dedicated spiritually seems puzzling to many people in my life.  People who value reason and science see spirituality as linked with superstition, dogma, and irrationality.  People who value practicality see spirituality as a waste of time, perhaps even self-indulgent. But for me the path I am currently following is logically necessary based upon an understanding of my personal experiences.  What I have observed about my own experience is that there is no external event of any magnitude that of its own force can bring me joy or meaning, unless it is suffused with spirit from the inside. A delicious meal; a monetary windfall; a major achievement; goals attained; a shower of praise.  Any of these events from my experience can be either fulfilling or empty.  From one point of view each of these items can seem disconnected, small, precarious, isolated, and temporary.  Or from another point of view these same items can seem connected, important, m

Boredom and Wisdom

For the past 16 days, I have been the parent in charge at home, every day, all day long, with my two elementary age boys.  We did not go on any vacation, having spent our vacation budget on a trip to Atlanta over November.  We were, in a word, stuck at home.  Stuck.  At.  Home. We did, however, engage in a wide range of activities, both at home and away.  Indoor play spaces, building ginger bread houses, bowling, numerous games of strategy and chance, books, lots of movies.  At the beginning of the holiday I drew up a list of activities for us to do and solicited further suggestions from the boys.  Aside from these excursions, with the cold weather, we were mostly confined inside.  We were lucky enough to score warm-enough weather for two walks. Nonetheless, we were all faced with a substantial amount of boredom and the frustration that comes with boredom.  Being stuck at home, and maybe not being so good at building a nearby social network, there were only so many things we could