The Spirit of Life
I think my personal turn towards a more dedicated spiritually seems puzzling to many people in my life. People who value reason and science see spirituality as linked with superstition, dogma, and irrationality. People who value practicality see spirituality as a waste of time, perhaps even self-indulgent.
But for me the path I am currently following is logically necessary based upon an understanding of my personal experiences. What I have observed about my own experience is that there is no external event of any magnitude that of its own force can bring me joy or meaning, unless it is suffused with spirit from the inside.
A delicious meal; a monetary windfall; a major achievement; goals attained; a shower of praise. Any of these events from my experience can be either fulfilling or empty. From one point of view each of these items can seem disconnected, small, precarious, isolated, and temporary. Or from another point of view these same items can seem connected, important, meaningful, and full of grace. There is no external experience of any sort that reliably brings me happiness or satisfaction of itself. And at the same time, if my internal disposition is properly aligned, almost any experience can be a source of happiness and satisfaction. I have found pleasure in doing the dishes and in a simple warm shower. I have found desolation in the midst of victory, events that to all outer appearances should have been cause for celebration.
In my experience the flower that makes life worth living is rooted from the inside, and grows anew each day. There is no force or power in the world which can guarantee its renewal; yet its does renew, and its bloom is enhanced by listening to it, cherishing it, by honoring its source. Sometimes the only path back to happiness is to follow this flower down to its most painful roots, strip away the old bearings, and nourish them with fresh soil. In all honesty, this flower is a gift from some source outside myself which I cannot control but I can dispose myself to accept the gift if it is offered; So far as I can see, the source of all happiness is grace and nothing else. There is no thing on this Earth that can give me pleasure when my soul is ill.
From this perspective, the pursuit of external goals and rewards for their own sake is illogical. Chasing after what appears to give pleasure is vain; Only pursuing one's own integrity to its fulfillment offers any hope of a lasting reward.
But for me the path I am currently following is logically necessary based upon an understanding of my personal experiences. What I have observed about my own experience is that there is no external event of any magnitude that of its own force can bring me joy or meaning, unless it is suffused with spirit from the inside.
A delicious meal; a monetary windfall; a major achievement; goals attained; a shower of praise. Any of these events from my experience can be either fulfilling or empty. From one point of view each of these items can seem disconnected, small, precarious, isolated, and temporary. Or from another point of view these same items can seem connected, important, meaningful, and full of grace. There is no external experience of any sort that reliably brings me happiness or satisfaction of itself. And at the same time, if my internal disposition is properly aligned, almost any experience can be a source of happiness and satisfaction. I have found pleasure in doing the dishes and in a simple warm shower. I have found desolation in the midst of victory, events that to all outer appearances should have been cause for celebration.
In my experience the flower that makes life worth living is rooted from the inside, and grows anew each day. There is no force or power in the world which can guarantee its renewal; yet its does renew, and its bloom is enhanced by listening to it, cherishing it, by honoring its source. Sometimes the only path back to happiness is to follow this flower down to its most painful roots, strip away the old bearings, and nourish them with fresh soil. In all honesty, this flower is a gift from some source outside myself which I cannot control but I can dispose myself to accept the gift if it is offered; So far as I can see, the source of all happiness is grace and nothing else. There is no thing on this Earth that can give me pleasure when my soul is ill.
From this perspective, the pursuit of external goals and rewards for their own sake is illogical. Chasing after what appears to give pleasure is vain; Only pursuing one's own integrity to its fulfillment offers any hope of a lasting reward.
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