Losing Myself

This blog was supposed to be about issues and beliefs, not personal experience. But I guess it is inevitable that the one should influence the other.

Sometimes in the course of the day or the week I lose myself. In the practice of saying things I do not mean and doing things I do not think are important, I lose my integrity. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say I cover my integrity up, like a fresh wound becomes hidden behind a scab.

When I say I lose my integrity, I do not mean that I manipulate others to my advantage. Quite the opposite. What I find myself doing is manipulating myself for other's convenience. I become what others need, demand, or expect, because I believe it for the time being to be necessary or expedient. And in those manipulations of myself, my integrity is lost, and eventually I myself become lost.

My definition of the good life is one in which every action and word flows from the center of my being, and nothing is extraneous. To be myself completely; to be myself deeply; to be myself with integrity. Always to stand on the firm ground of the soul. I think it is this longing that makes me nostalgic for simpler times and places, times and places I've never visited except in my imagination.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Idea of "White Supremacy Culture" is Offensive

Anyone with a cursory knowledge of history and cultures knows that all cultures have both oppressive and liberatory aspects. Historically, it was quite typical to conquer, kill, and enslave neighboring groups or nations - just ask the Aztecs or the Mongols. Historically, European and American culture are rife with oppressive aspects, but not particularly more so than any other culture. Part of the joy of being an Unitarian Universalist for me has been its openly syncretic approach to finding wisdom; that is, we seek great wisdom from all cultures, and at least historically have been able to borrow and build upon such wisdom without apology. In my own personal experience, I have gained wisdom from European, Asian, African, and Native American cultures, among others; as well as Christian, Islamic, Jewish, Buddhist, and Pagan beliefs. To pursue truth and wisdom wherever you find it has historically been one of our great blessings. With new walls being erected about certain traditional bel
Read more

Universalism and Color Translucency

 I believe in universalism. That is, I believe what connects us as human beings is more important than what divides us. The inherent worth and dignity of all persons. That all persons are entitled to dignity and respect. It's not a new belief. It's not an easy belief. Conceptually it's quite simple. And yet I don't think it needs revision. I don't think it needs an asterisk. I think universalism is a concept that can endure across time and across space. The love that I feel is not different than the love you feel. Nor is the pain or the suffering or the yearning. Nor is my flawed nature. My mortal nature. My limited nature. We are different in so many particulars, and yet we share so much in common as human beings. Put it another way. I think our common humanity is more important than our hyphenated humanity. We are different races, genders, sexualities, ages, and capabilities but none of this should divide us irreconcilably. It is possible to connect across these d
Read more

Two Types of Community Conversations

When I think about what it means to be a Unitarian Universalist and how that might change, I think about two different ways of having conversations. If the first way, we start from the principle of universal human equality and human dignity. We start from the approach that the search for truth is grounded in love. This is based upon our current Seven Principles. Based upon these principles, all voices will be given equal weight and an equal chance to be heard. And those listening will endeavor to listen charitably, with an ear to acknowledging and empathizing with what each speaker says. Under such conditions the growth of mutual understanding is possible. While agreement will not always be reached, we can build community through this process of recognizing each other, including recognizing our very real differences. In the second way, we start from the assumption that all verbal interactions should be seen through the lens of unequal power. People of color, women, and LGBTQ people hav
Read more