The Hollowness of Productivity

I am in the phase of my life where much of how I spend my time and energy revolves around my profession.  I am trying to establish my professional reputation and become secure in my career.  So it makes sense that I spend a lot of time thinking about my productivity and my professional effectiveness.

But I find something hollow about my own - and many others - obsession with productivity.

In almost any professional job - perhaps in any job at all - more work can be done.  The bar can be raised.  Performance can be improved.  Weaknesses can be found and analyzed.

But if the only guide we have to our professional lives is efficiency and productivity, we risk burnout, and perhaps even worse, emptiness or hollowness, where work and productivity become an end in themselves, divorced from their impact on other people or the world.

I think the center of our work should always be rooted in love.  Love for others, love for institutions, love for knowledge, love for something greater than ourselves, outside of ourselves.  If the sole end of our work is our own professional success, then our work will come to seem empty sooner or later.  This is work that has no foundation, no essential justification other than to work another day.  Given how often we are subject to evaluation, we tend to focus on the quality of our work.  But to focus on the meaning of our work, and the impact of our work, the support structures for that are largely lacking.  If I choose focus on the meaning of my work rather than its quantity or quality, it seems to me that I am largely on my own.

But even beyond the meaning of work, there must be a deeper meaning of our lives, to being alive.  As someone who has brushed up against the floor of life through my own experiences with depression, as someone keenly aware for the finiteness of this life, it seems to me an abuse of the gift of life to reduce it to professional success as its primary measure.  This single and precious life is a miracle and a gift.  I want to find some joy in each day, some savoring of the experience of being alive. The relentless focus on productivity and effectiveness works against this need for a deeper connection with the spirit of life.  It is a trap that I often fall into myself - coming home exhausted, bleary eyed, worried about my current project and how its failing to succeed by those dogged objective external measures.

In my day to day work life, I try to find the moments of connection with others, the moments of joy in discovery.  I am seeking to find life in my work, not just score more points against the system.  Again, although this makes sense to me, I feel largely alone in this approach to working life.

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