What is your default question?
I think most of us have a default question that we ask whenever there is a down moment, a slow moment, in our lives. This default question has great power over our happiness and well being.
For many of us, the default question is "what do I want now?" The minute the business subsides, we ask ourselves, what do I want now? As philosophers over the centuries have observed, directing ourselves by the wants of the moment is almost certainly a formula for unhappiness. We are likely to be frequently frustrated. The open palm of desire knows no bounds, wanting is a bottomless pursuit. It is quite likely that a yawning gap will open between what we want and what the world is capable of providing.
For myself, this question has often been "what should I be doing right now?" It turns out that this is also a problematic question. Just as wants are bottomless, so are achievements, and so are the problems of the world. If we are continually directed towards newly emerging needs, or newly emerging goals, we are giving ourselves a Sisyphisian task of endless work without resolution or rest. The question, "what should I be doing" tends to point us in the direction of "shoulding" all over ourselves, asking more and more from ourselves over time.
One alternative might be, "what do I have to be grateful for right now?" This question would seem to be a promising one in terms of happiness, as gratitude is a known foundation for happy living. In any given moment, there is likely something that we can find to be grateful for.
Another alternative might be "what is happening right now." This is a call to present moment awareness. It opens the door for both accepting blessings as well as acknowledging suffering. The focus is not on the self, but on the events of the moment.
For many of us, the default question is "what do I want now?" The minute the business subsides, we ask ourselves, what do I want now? As philosophers over the centuries have observed, directing ourselves by the wants of the moment is almost certainly a formula for unhappiness. We are likely to be frequently frustrated. The open palm of desire knows no bounds, wanting is a bottomless pursuit. It is quite likely that a yawning gap will open between what we want and what the world is capable of providing.
For myself, this question has often been "what should I be doing right now?" It turns out that this is also a problematic question. Just as wants are bottomless, so are achievements, and so are the problems of the world. If we are continually directed towards newly emerging needs, or newly emerging goals, we are giving ourselves a Sisyphisian task of endless work without resolution or rest. The question, "what should I be doing" tends to point us in the direction of "shoulding" all over ourselves, asking more and more from ourselves over time.
One alternative might be, "what do I have to be grateful for right now?" This question would seem to be a promising one in terms of happiness, as gratitude is a known foundation for happy living. In any given moment, there is likely something that we can find to be grateful for.
Another alternative might be "what is happening right now." This is a call to present moment awareness. It opens the door for both accepting blessings as well as acknowledging suffering. The focus is not on the self, but on the events of the moment.
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